By: Lonnie Brennan – October, 2013
“You up for a quiz?” my friend Tim gruffed as he shuffled egg bits around on his plate, once again, in a reflective mood as it had been months since we had caught up at the local breakfast nook called Theo’s (best omelets around) right off Central and Main streets in Georgetown. Sometimes the place is my second home, but then weeks go by and summer zooms, and well, it’s good to be back.
“Yeah, I’ve been making a simple list, you up for it”, Tim interrupted my thoughts as he pulled a thick bundle of heavily folded, blue lined, white paper from his ‘briefcase’, with lots of pencil marks and lots of cross outs, and smoothed the pile on the counter as the waitress topped his coffee. She knew I would be there for awhile. Tim usually begins slowly like this, then charges on non-stop.
“Here we go, and you should number these” he emphasized as he pushed his left index finger into the pile to make the point.
1. “Do you want the government to get a cut, 3.8% of the sales price, if you sell your home”?
2. “Do you want the government to charge a company 6.25% for any software or computer services they invoice someone for? I mean, they already charge sales tax, and their employees have to pay all kinds of payroll taxes, and they have to pay income taxes and property taxes and phone taxes and fuel taxes and all that, but what do you think, do you stand with demanding the gov’t gets another 6.25% cut of whatever the computer or software provider does?”
3. “Do you agree with spending millions on special benefits that have proved to be wasteful such as EBT cards, free cell phones, free AAA memberships, and such for almost anyone who finds a way into Massachusetts? No documentation required, and you can use your EBT card to buy a sub at Subway, or lobsta’ at Market Basket?”
4. “Do you want to raise the payroll tax? Do you know what that is? It means you’ll make less. The government will make more.”
5. “Do you want to give discount and free college tuition to illegal aliens, but not to your own relatives who live in New Hampshire, or Maine, to attend Mass schools?”
6. “Do you think the government should spend hundreds of thousands of dollars hosting parades, balls, and seminars promoting ‘alternative’ lifestyles, and focusing on these lifestyles in schools?”
7. “Do you think we should take taxpayer money and use it to pay abortion clinics, but not give a penny to pregnancy care centers who urge women to choose life?”
“How you doing”, Tim asked as he flipped through some pages, uncrumpled/smoothed them out on the counter, and almost spilled the sugar container. “I’ve just written down a few things from the headlines, nothin’ too tough for you,” he said as I caught him winking at the waitress.
8. “Are you for more part-time jobs, working 2-3 jobs with no benefits, but you’ll get on government health care, and get an EBT card if you ask for one?” he continued.
9. “How about guns? How about a 50% tax on all ammo. That will show those gun owners we’re serious about shutting them down,” he gurgled between coffee sips.
10. “Gas, gas, we only charge 44.9 cents a gallon now in taxes, state and federal, so how about we increase that even more to save the environment, you agree with that?” he barked.
“O.K. Tim” I interrupted, “what’s the point of this, it looks like you have about 20 of those things written down there, I said.
“More like 87”, Tim replied. “Each one you say yes to, means you vote or propose laws the way the Democrats in the state house have been acting these past few years with Deval Patrick, you remember him, the guy who said he was going to reduce our property taxes, but didn’t tell us the way to do that was to increase the cost of these eggs here, my coffee, the gas for truck, and just about everything else he can touch.”
“I’m telling you,” Tim said, “Kennedy and my dad would be rolling in their graves if they knew what happened to our party. Hijacked I tell you, by extremists, and liars.”
“Not my party, Tim” I said. “I woke up a long time ago; thought you had too. Oh, and since I’m so used to paying for you Dems, I’ll pick up the tab, you can leave the tip.”