By: Dr. Pierre Ghassibi
Emotional illness is as important as physical disease. I hope this article will resonate with many of us. I want to look at wars.
We have wars between nations and civil wars between citizens of the same country. Burns, amputations, families dismembered, economies destroyed, are the results. These are beyond our individual control. Powerful people start them, and we all fall victims.
There are other wars that are far more common and very painful.
These are the interpersonal hostilities that seem pervasive and part of our everyday lives. Wars between office colleagues, employees and supervisors, husbands, and wives. We have a lot of pride and small conflicts pull us apart day after day. The distances apart add up and after a while we find ourselves living with enemies. I dislike talking about this, but I see so much of it everywhere. This is how I analyze the cause:
We each have our opinions and ideas. It is in our DNA to want our way or the highway. We each are sure that we are correct, and the other person is not. Yet, who is to judge? A referee also has his or her own opinions and has no right to take sides. Taking sides is as subjective as the opinions of the antagonists. Look at the rate of divorce and how many associates dissociate.
The solution, if we want peace, is hard, because we are all born very stubborn and refuse to consider the point of view of others. We feel and fear that if we let our spouse or associate do things their way, the outcome will be disastrous.
The solution ought to be an attitude taught in schools and in companies:
“Realize that peace, friendship, respect, and love take precedence over our opinion. Realize that conflicts with time grow in size and number and end in doom. Realize that my opinion is just my opinion and every one’s opinion should be counted in any decision.
This should be an agreement on paper, signed voluntarily by the involved parties and brought up often. This is realistic only if everybody genuinely wants peace and a happy association. Otherwise, one party will control by force, which is acceptable in a dictatorship, if this is what we want “.
P. Ghassibi, md