It’s time for us to “Let the Mitt Hit the Fan”


By: Jeff Katz – May, 2011

Sporting his best Brooks Brothers casual while serving up chicken chili in a barnyard, Willard Mitt Romney made it officially official the other day while visiting his home State of New Hampshire that he was once again running for President of the United States. This announcement was completely different from the announcement he made the last time he visited his home State of New Hampshire when he unofficially announced that he was running for President. Additionally, his visit to his home State of Michigan where he officially knocked Obamacare at the same time that he doubled down on Romneycare and unofficially announced that he was running for President was nothing like those other two announcements and of course, I’d be remiss if I forgot to mention that the establishment’s favorite Republican also took some time to visit his home State of Nevada to raise money for his unofficially official run for President. Funny, he never seems to visit, officially or otherwise, his home State of Massachusetts where people have to try and live under the oppressive yoke of Romneycare.

Mitt Romney has been consistent about exactly one thing in his entire political career and that is his unbridled desire to be President. Nothing wrong with a focused individual, but if you are like me you’d like to know what a candidate believes. That is where the problem with Mitt begins. I can’t tell you what he believes. Abortion? Mitt is for it and against it. Second Amendment rights? Mitt supports and opposes them. The global warming hysteria? Mitt is an adherent to the Al Gore school of man made global climate change and a debunker of the junk science at the same time. Same sex marriage? Mitt is a solid yes, no and maybe on that issue. Government mandates to buy products? Right, once again Mitt is solidly on both sides of the issue. Admiration for the late great Ronald Reagan? Sure Mitt tells us he loved Reagan except of course when he did not. Again, the only thing that Mitt’s position has remained constant and steadfast on is his belief that he should be President.

Aside from the issues, Romney has a few other concerns to address. First is the fact that he is just plain dull. A thoroughly uninspiring speaker who often has the deer caught in the headlights look. Second, is Mitt’s look. I am secure enough in my own masculinity to point out that Mitt is a good looking guy with great hair. If you were looking for someone to shill for shampoo or just play the part of the President in a TV show, you’d call Central Casting and they’d ship Mitt right out to you. But at the same time he comes across as plastic, sort of like one of those lifelike figures in Disney’s Hall of Presidents. No emotion, no passion. The Romney camp would have you believe that religion is concern number three. While I am sure that there are a few people who would not vote for Romney due to his Mormon faith, I really think this is a red herring. Just as Obama and the Obamatons have claimed that anyone who opposes the dear leader is clearly a racist and a bigot, so too are members of the Romney machine trying to make us believe that opposition to Willard is based on religious intolerance and that is just not true to any great extent.

Before anyone writes Romney off, let’s be blunt about his strengths. The economy is in the tank thanks to a couple of years of Obamanomics and Romney’s strong suits include business and bucks. His second strength is that he is not Barack Obama. Regular Americans are hurting thanks to the current occupant of the Oval Office and they are inclined to vote for a replacement. Can they be stirred to action by the man formerly known as Willard? Don’t forget that Romney also enjoys great support from the Republican Party establishment. The problem for him is that all the money in the world may not be enough. The midterm election showed that it is the Tea Party mobilizing voters, not the GOP establishment.

I really don’t know who the nominee of my party will be. But I will be very concerned if it is a man with the personality of Bob Dole, the convictions of John McCain and the hair of John Edwards.